


no one said it would be easy

by orphan_account



Category: Hadestown - Mitchell
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Orpheus has issues, Post-Hadestown Trauma, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:02:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21771898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: prompt by @fighting-shit-with-sass on tumblr: Orpheus snaps at Eurydice because he’s not sleeping due to nightmares...Eurydice ends up soothing him because he feels so bad for yelling at her.
Relationships: Eurydice/Orpheus (Hadestown)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	no one said it would be easy

Orpheus hadn’t been sleeping well. Actually that was sort of an understatement. He hadn’t been sleeping much at all lately. Not since they returned from Hadestown.

Every time he lay down to sleep, he could see it. What would have happened if things had played out differently. In Orpheus’ dreams, he allowed doubt to overtake him. Allowed it to come in and force him to make a fatal error. In Orpheus’ dreams he turned, and was subsequently forced to watch in horror as the one person he loved the most in his life slipped away from him.

Even when the dreams drifted away, becoming little more than whispers in Orpheus’ mind, he could still see Eurydice’s face, wide with sadness and betrayal. So instead of trying to deal with all of that, Orpheus had decided the solution was to just not sleep. It was easier than having to deal with the pain that came every time he closed his eyes.

Orpheus could feel himself becoming more irritable due to his lack of sleep. He had almost snapped at one of the patrons for telling a slightly off-color joke, something that would have normally only minorly annoyed Orpheus. He could barely even muster up the patience anymore to write music, getting frustrated whenever a note came out wrong.

Additionally, it felt like he was watching everything through a sort of haze. In a sense, nothing felt real. There were gaps in Orpheus’ memory as well. Times where he wasn’t sure how he got from one place to another and couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Eurydice seemed to notice that something was wrong with Orpheus. But she didn’t mention anything, just like Orpheus didn’t mention how many times he noticed Eurydice wake up screaming during the night. Hadestown had affected them both in ways they couldn’t quite discuss yet.

Currently, Orpheus was sitting on the bed, flipping through the pages of a book that Lady Persephone had given him a few years ago. He stared at the words, not quite able to understand what they were saying. It wasn’t that he was tired, he’d crossed the threshold from tired to a strangely numb feeling long ago, he just couldn’t focus. A dull annoyance flowed through his veins, buzzing like a swarm of bees. Orpheus slammed the book closed.

Eurydice walked into the room, a slight glow on her cheeks. A smell of fresh flowers came with her. Ever since Hadestown, Eurydice had been spending as much time outside as she could. Orpheus didn’t know exactly where she’d been, even though he felt like he should. He searched his memory and came up empty, getting frustrated at the absence.

“Where were you?” Orpheus asked, trying to distract from his mounting feelings of anger at himself.

“I went to the market,” Eurydice said, taking a step towards the bed, “I told you before I left.”

“Oh,” Orpheus said, “I must not have heard.”

“Orpheus,” Eurydice stepped a little closer. Orpheus realized she was treating him as one might treat a frightened child, or a cornered animal, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Orpheus said, trying to keep his voice level, “I’m fine. I’m always fine.” 

“No,” Eurydice reached the bed. She sat down next to Orpheus, hesitantly, “I know you don’t like to admit when you’re feeling bad, but-”

“I told you I’m fine,” Orpheus’ voice was too loud, he lowered it, “And it’s not like  _ you  _ really care anyways.”

Orpheus stopped talking, but it was too late. Eurydice looked hurt, as if Orpheus’ words had pierced her right in the heart. All of Orpheus’ anger had been replaced with shame, he didn’t know where the words had come from. All he knew was that everything seemed to hurt lately, and for a moment, he’d wanted someone else to hurt as bad as him. 

“I’m so sorry,” Orpheus rushed to say, not able to take the look on Eurydice’s face, so much like the one he kept seeing in his dreams, “I- I didn’t mean that. I just… just.” 

Orpheus buried his face in his hands, trying to steady his breathing. He had messed up and now Eurydice was going to leave. Leave and never come back. And no song that Orpheus could sing would be able to get her back. How stupid was Orpheus. He’d gotten a second chance with the girl he loved and he’d ruined it all, again.

“Orpheus calm down,” Eurydice’s voice pierced through Orpheus’ thoughts, “You’re shaking.”

Was he? Orpheus hadn’t noticed. He looked up at Eurydice. She didn’t look sad anymore, just worried. This too was Orpheus’ fault. Why couldn’t he do anything right. “I’m sorry.” He said again, wincing when his voice trembled.

“It’s alright,” Eurydice reached out a hand. Orpheus grabbed onto it, holding it like it was his lifeline, “I forgive you.”

A few minutes passed. Orpheus tried to put himself back together, not daring to let go of Eurydice’s hand. He was afraid that if he did, she would just disappear into the air. Be pulled back to Hadestown like in all of Orpheus’ dreams. Eurydice didn’t say anything. Just moved to sit on the bed, humming a calming tune under her breath.

When Orpheus was more or less stable again, Eurydice spoke up. “You do know that I care about you, right?”

Orpheus nodded. “Yes, I’m sor-”

“Shh,” Eurydice held her free hand up, “You don’t need to apologize. I’ve already forgiven you. Just answer me truthfully on one thing. Are you okay?”

“No,” Orpheus’ voice broke on the word, he cringed, “I can’t-.” He left the half-finished sentence hanging there, in the air between them.

“You’re having nightmares, aren’t you?” Eurydice asked.

Orpheus was silent, Eurydice seemed to take that as an affirmation. 

“I am too,” Eurydice said, “Look, what we went through… It was horrible and terrifying and messed up. But remember what you said to me before we left. Things may not be easy, but that doesn’t make any of this not worth it.”

“But I-” Orpheus didn’t know what he wanted to say. But he knew that he didn’t deserve Eurydice. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness and he sure as Hades didn’t deserve her love.

“I promised to walk beside you, no matter what. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do,” Eurydice smiled, “I’m not giving up just because things are hard.”

“Why not?” No one’s ever really stayed with Orpheus. His father had left before he was born, and his mother had dropped him off at Mr. Hermes’ place when Orpheus had only been a few winters old. Even Lady Persephone, who was like family to Orpheus, left every winter.

“Because I love you,” Eurydice squeezed Orpheus’ hand, “And I’m willing to tell you that as many times as you need to hear it.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of my favorite fics I've written :)


End file.
